originally published in the Hartford Advocate, November 15, 2007
Don’t you hate those annoying Sisyphus dreams where you keep trying to
do some absurdly simple task, and fail again and again? Frustrating as
they are, at least you get the eventual satisfaction of waking up and
realizing you were only dreaming.
Hartford residents Tiffany
Washington and Jennifer Moyer were wide awake when we spoke to them for
this story. On Oct. 1, the couple went and got civilized — no,
unionized — well, whatever the term is for “entered into a
state-recognized civil union together,” they did it.
“We had a
wedding ceremony in Massachusetts on Sept. 22,” said Washington. But
the Nutmeg State doesn’t recognize same-sex marriages, so “we had to
come back to Connecticut to have a civil union … Oct. 1 is our legal
date in Connecticut.”
That’s also the anniversary of the day
Connecticut’s civil union law went into effect in 2005. Since then,
getting civilunified is supposed to be the legal equivalent of getting
married, at least where the state’s concerned.
However, the
federal government doesn’t recognize civil unions. This means that, for
example, civilly unionized employees of the state can get dependents’
health benefits for their partners, but federal employees living here
cannot.
Washington and Moyer both work in public schools and
qualify for each others’ benefits. No problem there. They also want to
merge their last names together into Moyer-Washington.
Problem
there. “I was under the impression that Connecticut’s civil union
offered the same rights, protections and benefits as marriage,”
Washington wrote in an e-mail. “My friend … got married Aug. 18. Her
last name changed with her marriage certificate. … I have to pay $150
to have my last name legally changed as well as have a notarized letter
sent to probate court in order to join my name with my spouse’s.”
Over
coffee, Moyer and Washington told of a runaround. “I called the
[Hartford] city clerk and asked about a name change,” said Washington.
“She said I’d have to do the same as anyone who wanted a name change.”
That’s
a lengthy, pricey process. “We’d each have to go to probate court, pay
$150 each, get judicial approval, have that letter notarized, take that
back to court — I think that’s the end.”
“No, the newspaper,” Moyer reminded her.
“A
woman in City Hall said she thought we had to put a notice in the
newspaper,” Washington continued. “I called [governor] Jodi Rell’s
office … the woman in probate court didn’t know. Nobody does. I didn’t
know this was such as issue.”
In Greek mythology, Sisyphus
was condemned by the gods to spend eternity pushing a boulder to the
top of a steep hill, a simple task he could never complete because
whenever he got near the summit, the boulder would roll back to the
bottom of the hill.
But getting to the bottom of Washington and
Moyer’s difficulties sounded like a less-than-Sisyphean task. The
question’s simple enough: are post-marital name changes handled at the
state or federal level?
The probate court in Hartford is
state-level and handles a variety of matters including legal name
changes. Specifically, they handle situations where you get a new name
because you just don’t like your old one, a different matter from name
changes reflecting alterations in marital (or civil-unital) status. But
the woman who answered the phone when we called wasn’t sure how
civil-union name changes went through.
“I don’t know if that
[civil union] certificate would be sufficient … as far as Social
Security or [the Department of] Motor Vehicles was concerned,” she said.
Staff
members in Hartford’s Town and City Clerk’s office referred questions
back to the probate court. A call to Governor Rell’s press office led
to the suggestion we call state representative Mike Lawlor, who helped
write the civil union legislation.
“Normally,” Lawlor said,
“when you get married, you’re entitled to go to motor vehicles to get a
new license — not probate court.” Driver’s licenses are a state matter,
so civil union equal-protection laws apply. However, Lawlor added,
“it’s the social security and federal side of this raising problems.
The feds won’t recognize same-sex unions no matter what.”
Though
Lawlor can’t speak on behalf of the federal government, he was very
clear that at the state level, civilly unified couples in Connecticut
are “entitled to change their name by going to [the DMV].”
Tiffany
Washington wasn’t too encouraged when we told her this. “The civil
union form doesn’t have the new last name on it,” she said. “DMV
requires forms with the new and old last name [and] said you have to
have a legal document with your before and after names.”
Oh.
“Connecticut state law is very clear,” Lawlor said the next day.
“Whatever state law applies to marriage applies to civil unions … I
have someone checking this out.” In the meantime, Lawlor suggested
calling the Motor Vehicle Department.
When you call the
contact number listed on the DMV Web site, you’re told that dialing
zero to speak to an operator won’t work unless you’ve been explicitly
invited to do so. The Web site itself says “After you choose an issue
you must then choose specific [sic] topic before you will be asked if
you want to speak to an agent.”
After a half-hour’s worth of
futile attempts to reach a human over the phone, this reporter gave up
and drove to the DMV office in Wethersfield where, after being directed
to multiple offices and windows, she finally got to meet DMV spokesman
Bill Seymour.
“We don’t change names as an originating
authority,” he said. “We must have documents from the originating
authority to make the requested change … a marriage license, divorce
decree or probate court documents.”
Oh. After thanking Seymour
for his time, this reporter requested a contact number for future
reference, and asked “Did you know it’s impossible to reach a human
being through the phone number on your Web site?”
Seymour laughed. “I hear that complaint from a lot of people.”
It
is, at least, easy to reach a human when you call Love Makes A Family,
the Hartford-based organization seeking equal marriage rights for
same-sex Connecticut couples. We asked assistant director Carol
Buckheit if she knew anything about civil union name changes.
“To
tell the truth, I know of couples who changed their names, but I’m not
sure how,” she said, and suggested we speak to former LMAF board member
Peg Otto. “She and her partner moved to San Diego, but come to
Connecticut to visit their grandchild.”
Otto, meanwhile, said
she’d had no trouble getting her driver’s license name changed, “but
quite frankly I was with Love Makes A Family at the time and called our
attorney … this is not the first time I’ve heard of people having
problems.”
Otto also chose a strategic DMV branch: “I purposely
picked a remote place, I went to the Enfield DMV … I carried with me my
civil union document, but they didn’t even ask to see it.”
The
next day, Rep. Lawlor forwarded a letter he’d received from the Office
of Legislative Research, which said, “Pursuant to state law … DMV
recognizes and accepts a civil union certificate … in the same way that
it does a marriage certificate, divorce decree or probate court order …
DMV’s [Web site] may not have been updated to show civil union
certificates as valid documentation. However, this is an oversight.”
We,
in turn, forwarded the letter to the future Moyer-Washingtons, who, as
of press time, have not yet gone to the DMV, but promised to let us
know if their rock rolls back downhill again.
